Everyone’s Been Asking For My Vacation Pics, So Here They Are

LIKE DAMN LET ME CHOOSE THE BEST ONES FIRST.

The pandemic has really been killing my vibe lately, so I decided to honor the small voice within (the one that’s been whispering, “Hey girl, let’s go see the world”). So I skidaddled on over to Europe and enjoyed myself a cute little dream vacation moment. What exact countries did I visit, you ask? The ones that have spagheTT and kwasohnts. My cultured readers know what’s up.

I saw the place where Quasimodo fell in love with Esmerelda, and I was surprised to realize I still remembered all the words to his movie’s songs. I saw Emily. I tried to ask her for a selfie, but she was too busy being a brilliant marketing strategist. I saw a rat with a tiny wooden spoon. Could not confirm if it was the chef rat or just a regular rat that just happened to have a tiny wooden spoon. I tried his food anyway.

The highlight of my trip was the marrgherritta pizza I tried at this quaint family restaurant. It was called Olivia Gardenia, and when I was there, I had this feeling like I belonged. Like when I was there, I was family.

Have you guys ever heard of aperol spritz? It’s the only thing I drink now. That’s not an exaggeration. When I wake up, the first thing I do is chug a big glass of aperol spritz. It truly energizes me. I don’t even need coffee anymore, it’s crazy. I actually can’t have coffee here anymore, because I had the best café crème over there and nothing else compares. No worries though, because I have my 32 ounce Hydro Flask filled with aperol spritz, so I’m pretty much set.

My whole vacation was a beautiful experience. I really “eat, pray, loved” that shit, as evidenced in my photo album above. You can see how refreshed my soul is in those pics. I color-corrected them a little bit, but otherwise, those pics are raw and unedited. Everyone’s been asking to see those pics, so here you go, friends. I’m thinking of using one of them as my new profile picture, because I feel like they really represent me, as a person, who has been to Europe. Which one should I choose? Comment 1, 2, 3, or 4. Love you, jelly fam!

Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone

Gazing at the people down below me

All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone

Hungry for the histories they show me

All my life I memorize their faces

Knowing them as they will never know me

All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day

Not above them

But part of them

And out there

Living in the sun

Give me one day out there